How Do You See Me?
by MyTerribleSlushie
Summary: As a child, Kurt was born with a harsh personality disorder which triggered his mind to have everything in his life perfect. Although this didn't satisfy him. Kurt wanted more, but how is he going to find love and friendship, when his mind is ruining him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is an impromptu story I'm planning. It's just a story that have been stuck in my head for awhile, however it was originally a story for my own characters, but I thought Kurt and Blaine should have this, because it'll be perfect for them both.

**D/C: **The characters in this story are not mine and they belong to Ryan Murphy from Fox's TV show Glee.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1:<strong>

...

_"Vanity dies hard; in some obstinate cases it outlives the man."_  
><em> ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.<em>

Everyone has a little vanity in their lives.

Every wished to be perfect somehow.

No one would really realize how much being too perfect would drown a person's life. Wanting everything to be prideful was not a gift from anyone, it was more a curse for Kurt Hummel.

He was chubby, freckled and acne-covered. He never had any friends. Every single minute at school he would get beaten and teased. All he had was his family to be there. However, at the age of 8. Kurt's mother Elizabeth passed away due to a harsh illness.

Everything was shattered in poor Kurt's life. Ever since his mother died, he acted differently. Eventually, Kurt was diagnosed with a personality disorder due to the satisfaction of perfection. Burt, Kurt's father had nothing to do, Kurt wanted everything flawless.

By years and years of therapy, no sign of luck was committed. Kurt became spoiled and harsh to have the satisfaction of pride. In course of time, his father couldn't do anything to change that. So he eventually worked hard to give Kurt everything he wanted. He knew it wasn't his son's fault that this happened, Kurt couldn't stop the fact his disorder is making him more spoiled and shallow.

Then, ever since Kurt got everything he wanted he decided to have a change. Burt paid for all the surgery he wanted to change his looks, the perfect clothes, car, house. Kurt never wanted to go back to that friendless boy.

After years and years. Kurt however grew tired. His stupid disorder was ruining his life. He wanted everything perfect, but perfect was not what he wanted. He wanted to be loved, by someone who cares about the inside and what Kurt was like before. Not this Kurt. The new handsome, spoiled, and shallow brat.  
>There were many girls and boys wanted to hang out with him and many... many girls who wanted to be with him. However, due to the disorder Kurt had, he wanted everything excellent, not just things or his face, also his friends and admirer.<p>

His father couldn't afford anything anymore. Kurt was growing tired of himself that he forced himself for suicide. He thought it'll make everything better so his father wouldn't bother with him, the people who wanted to be friends with him wont go around calling him a jerk and stupid, he won't have to bother anymore with the depressing rejection his admirers took.

In conclusion, he stopped himself from committing his early death. He didn't want everything his father worked hard for him to be wasted, he never wanted to disappoint those people somewhere who are still willing to try to be friend with him. The real him.

Kurt tried everything, and asked for anyone to help him fix this plague ruining his brain. Then again, there was one person to help him. Rachel Berry. Rachel however, was Kurt's only... only best-friend. Rachel had an affect of self love, she was the only one who can see Kurt of who he really was. Kurt and Rachel acted as siblings, always there for each other. Rachel and Burt were the only ones in the world who knew Kurt was gay. He never told anyone else.

Rachel loved Kurt, and she was willing to do anything for him. Successfully, she did quite grab a great plan for him, but it was too difficult. She told him anyway.

"Kurt, I did some research about your disorder, and many people have it. mostly kids whom suffered a great deal of prejudice in their lives-"

"Like me?" Kurt said silently, dumbstruck as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Yes like you." Rachel continued. "Then again, they do have solutions for it, but it isn't something you really want to lose."

"I'd lose anything just to get rid of this monster" Kurt answered sarcastically."What is it anyway?" he asked calmly waiting for the answer.

"Your eyes."

"I'm sorry, my what?" Kurt shockingly asked again.

"Your eyes, Kurt." Rachel repeated, pointing at Kurt's glasz eyes.

Kurt was conflicted wanting to know more, why would you lose your eyes just for this?

"I know it sounds crazy-" Rachel continued "Oh who am I kidding, you don't want to lose your eyesight, it's like your number 1 feature!"

"Wait! I might not want to lose these babies? but why would I? is there some kind of connection between my golden brain and my _perfect_eyes?" Kurt asked sarcastically.

Rachel calmly sat next to him and took his hands. She smiled lightly and sighed.

"You remember the first time we met each other?" She asked softly, stroking Kurt's hand gently with her thumb.

"Of course. Though you were a shy girl. You always hid your face and wouldn't talk to anyone." Kurt answered briefly and continued. "You never had friends, I never had friends because of this.." he said pointing at his head.

"Why did you like me then? Your disorder makes you choose anything and everything that's perfect" She asked as she placed her head swiftly on Kurt's soft shoulder. "I'm not perfect..."

"You are Rachel. You're one in a million. First time I _laid eyes _on you... you're gorgeous. No one really seen you the way I saw you." He complimented, grinning in happiness.

Rachel quickly stood up blushing her face off and she grinned momentarily. "See? Your dang rotten brain only liked me because you saw me. Outside? Imagine you didn't see me? would you still like me?"

"Well, I might. I would still like you because you're the nicest person in the whole dang world." Kurt answered longily spaced out of what his jewish best friend is getting to.

"See?" Rachel pointed out.

"No I don't see." He quickly answered.

"Oh you're not going to see all right if you do this." She sarcastically said. "I might sound quite narcissistic, but I am quite a star." She flipped her hair. "But Kurt, you only befriend with me, because you liked me from the outside. Then you gotten to know me more and I know you liked me in the inside."

Kurt looked confused, his eyes aback from Rachel's drama. "Still don't know what your getting into?"

Rachel sighed and swiped both of her hand to her face and grunted. "Oh Gracious Lord! how do I do this?" She complained.

"Okay! let me get this damn thing straight..." Kurt straightly pointed his thoughts. "It's true that I only made friends with you cause my dang mind wanted a fuckin' perfect best friend. It's true that when we got to know each other more, I liked you more and more. But what has this got to do anything with losing my eyes?"

"Kurt. What happens if you see something perfect? like the new Marc Jacobs bag or jacket?" Rachel asked calmly.

"I buy it. I see it, I buy it? 'cause c'mon Marc Jacobs has one heck of a clothing line" Kurt replied easily, furrowing his brow.

"So what will happen if you didn't see it?" She asked again. a small twitch of relief coming from the small smiling tweak of her mouth.

"I wouldn't have wanted it..."

Finally, Kurt has gotten Rachel's point.

"YES! OH HEAVEN'S LORD THANK YOU!" Rachel bursted jumping up and down the room dancing with joy.

"Please, don't bring God into this." Kurt pleaded, rubbing his temples with his fingers annoyed.

"See Kurt? If you didn't see it, you never would have wanted it." Rachel made her point again, cheekily grinning her teeth off.

"What if I smell or taste it?"Kurt randomly asked out of nowhere.

"Oh pah-lease! Who would smell and taste clothes?"

"No I mean? like food or perfume and stuff. I still judge those." Kurt added laughing.

"Well, people judging things on how they taste and smell is normal. Like vegetables and children. But you, judging everything and everyone on how they look. You are crazy." Rachel answered, poking Kurt's nose and kissed his forehead.

Both of them was laughing and embracing eachother, sparing the scene on how they loved each other.

Their discussion did make Kurt quite relieved. Finally, a solution. But it made him worry, he had to lose his eyes. His mother's eyes. There has to be another way, like wearing a blindfold wherever he goes. However, isn't that quite random?

Poor Kurt didn't know what to do. He felt astonished of everything, but maybe if I just lose something, I'll treat people nicely, much better, I will also help my father through everything. He won't have to bother with my needs any more.

He thought of all the advantages and disadvantages, but one thing Kurt learned is that: Try to do something, not just for yourself but for someone else. From now on, Kurt made his decision keeping that fact on his mind. He will do this for: his father, Rachel, everyone else whom had been nice to him and to that special someone in the future.

The boy wiped his last tear from his longing eyes and took his deepest breathe...

"I'll do it. I'm going to do it Rach, and I will."

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><p><strong><em>AN: _**The story sounds confusing I know. It's mostly about Kurt had some issues about his looks and the things he had back then and decided to change. However, it wasn't what he wanted all along. His fetish for the perfect things had ruined his chance of love of friends and a lover. He wanted someone to understand him, but he can't stop the personality disorder ruining his life, so eventually Rachel suggested Kurt to go for blindness because everything he sees that is _perfect _he will want it. So eventually Kurt decided to do it, for everyone, but is it going to work?

_No this personality disorder is not real. There is a narcissistic personality disorder though? Nahh..._

**_Review appreciated._**

Next chapter will be 2 years later... yeah he's blind.

:)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Sorry for the long update, I just noticed how much people actually alerted this story. Thanks again! I promise to continue when I can.

**D/C: **The characters in this story are not mine and they belong to Ryan Murphy from Fox's TV show Glee.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong>

_2 Years later..._

It has been 2 years since my eye operation and everything went better. At least it did. Ever since that day, everything felt different. I had more friends, my Dad's now living happily with my new step-mother Carole and Finn... my ex-crush, and shockingly my best friend Rachel's fiancee... And I'm living my life as a manager to the famous broadway performer Rachel Berry.

How I wished to be a Broadway performer, but It was better than judging and being prejudice. Besides, being Rachel's manager was actually quite fun. I have control over her, no matter what. Contracts come in handy these days!

Everything was good. I now live in New York, and live life large. Although, It might sound stupid but I do want someone... New York is the place where lovers dream to be. But me... I have no one. I thought seeing the world better without the vanity would find me someone, but no one wants someone like me. a blind person.

Many boys... tend to flirt with me, but I just seem to find them interested on my looks more than my personality. They see me and just practically pull me up for sex, and they think it's that easy 'cause I'm blind. But No. That's just... It's how I treated people. I took their looks more than their personality. So I am never going back. I rather not have a lover and live better. I am going to this for everyone. not just for me.

I'm just sitting here by the fireplace in my house, or so what Rachel called 'Hummelberry House' considering I do live with her. She texted me, that it was an urgent meeting and I have to be with her to it. Business is wonderful... yeah right.

When I heard the door open, someone walked in with a heavy footed noise and sneakily tried to glomp me before... "I am blind Rachel, but I'm not deaf. Your heels are like gun shot"

"Damn. and I was about to surprise you" Rachel complained, sighing when she sat next to me.

"Of what?" I replied sarcastically. She laughed eventually.

"Well... I got you a blind-date with someone adorable.. I mean I could have taken him, but he told me he was gay and I was like! I have a friend that's gay! and -"

"Slow down Barbra!" I cut her off. God! she's annoying. "and what... You actually was willing to break up with Finn for him? My step-brother!"

"Haha! I'm joking. He's one of my co-star for our big play. He's really good." She replied easily.

I felt her move and she tucked her head on lap, comforting herself. I myself however, was actually just felt like pushing her onto the fire and watch her burn like the witch on Hansel and Gretel! but I love her.. and what?

"A blind-date! Just because I'm blind, RACHEL! doesn't mean you can go and set up a date for me out of nowhere!" I ranted jokingly and she sat up, laughing along with me.

"I didn't mean it like that, dummy! I just thought you felt lonely... and he's really nice. Just give him a chance, okay. You'll love him... please Kurtsie?" She pleaded, and I heard a pout from her lips and sighed. She's too manipulative, I could actually just push her.

"FINE! I won't be making a move though! I don't care how nice he is!" I said, tucking away on my jacket and grabbing my bag.

We went off to the park, where Rachel decided me and this guy would meet. I actually felt fine about it. I didn't mean what I said earlier. If he is nice, maybe I have a chance. The only problem is... what if I start to fall in love with the guy and he finds out I'm blind. Has Rachel even told him about the details? The important details?

"Rachel I-" I was gonna asked, but I felt her hand slip off, so I changed the question. "Are we here? or are you just bailing me out and get lost on the park!"

"Calm Down, Kurt. We're here, but I need to go look for him. He said he'd be here by now. So you sit in this bench first,while I go look for him. Okay." She responded calmly, and took off.

I slowly leaned down to find where the bench was using my hands and finally took a seat. I sighed, taking in the deep autumn smell, and felt the wind blow my hair. I wish I could see the scenery. It must have been nice.

Minutes passed by and I felt some heavy force pull me down as someone sat next to me from the other side of the bench. I heard the person's phone ring and he or she answered it. It was a boy. His voice gave me goosebumps, as the deep voice flowed through my ears. His scent was musky and nice, and I recognized the smell: It was those Vo5 hair gels, [and I recognized this considering I own the same brand of hairspray at home]

He stopped talking, and the wind got stronger. I felt chilly, and kind off annoyed. Where the hell is Rachel? Is she ditching me now!

I looked for my bag, searching around me with my hands trying not too look awkward on the stranger beside me. He noticed this. "It's under the seat. Your bag."

_His voice..._

"Thank you..." I said, hoping I didn't look so stupid. I reached down for my bag and took my phone out and texted Rachel.

"Cool phone." The guy complimented, as he shifted closer to me. I felt him look and I heard his little soft chuckle under his breathe. God! for a stranger you're... indescribable.

"Thanks, it's braille." I replied, and went back to my texting. My phone was specially designed for me. The keyboard was braille, and I can even record my voice and it'll turn to words on the phone. It also has this speciality on telling me what I've just done. You know... phone designed for the blind.

The guy however took the information and I felt his breathe on my face. He was looking at me... my eyes probably.

Then he murmured. "You're blind...?"

I froze. I felt frozen. His words or the cold wind. Whatever it was. both!

"Yes..." I immediately replied.

He moved away a bit, and I heard him chuckle again. Huh?

"Why are you alone out here? It's cold" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. He was warm. I was quite cold, but I have layers. lots and lots of layers of clothing to protect me. But I actually felt his warmth...

"I'm waiting for my friend." I responded easily, in a tone of annoyance. He laughed, and took away his hand. Then he responded as well. "Me too. She's supposed to be here by now. But she's too fussy, so I'm not surprised."

"Hmmm.. sounds like mine" I said. Rachel is fussy. she could have been running the whole perimeter of the park and stopping by Claire's to get a new headband or getting new shoes. Damn her if she comes here with clothes and didn't tag me along to her shopping trip.

He sighed, and I heard him texting again. The clicking of the phone was loud, so I imagined him with strong fingers and quite muscular. I felt my phone vibrate and I took it in a flash. My phone told me that it was a message from my dad, to come home for thanksgiving. [yeah my phone talks!]

_"Hey Kurt! Thanksgiving is next week. So come home! Are you bringing anyone?" - Dad._

I smiled and texted him back.

_"Obviously! and I'm bringing Rachel as a thanksgiving present for FINN! and she'll live with him NOW! and forever! I need a peace in my mind! Just kidding... I'll come with Rachel 'kay! love you dad. - Kurt "_

"Now, that's just awesome." The guy next to me said, and I laughed at his opinion on the 'talking' part of the phone.

"Thanks." I smiled. He seemed nice, and was a good company. Rachel's timing is immensely idiotic! It's been half an hour! Moron. Anyways... The stranger was nice, so might as well introduce myself.

"I'm Kurt by the way. Kurt Hummel." I said, gesturing my hand to him for a handshake. He took it and we shook. His hand was warm, and yerp. Totally muscular.

"I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Nice to meet you Kurt." He introduce, slowly letting go of my hand.

I actually never wanted him to let go... he felt... warm.

As time passed, we talked about our jobs for a little conversation. He told me that he worked as a theatre actor and a lawyer. Then we exchanged phone numbers just in case we needed to keep in touch of each other, because we found ourselves now like friends.

The moment however, ended when I heard someone run and stopped in front of us panting heavily.

"Rachel?" I said... and coincidentally Blaine said it as well with me.

Then Rachel spoke. "Oh you guy's already know each other?"

I froze again. What? huh... wait... was this guy my... date... This man that just seemed perfect to me was gay and... fuck.

_He is nice... and warm, I may add._

"You're the guy..." Blaine said, and I felt a little shock or disappointment from his tone. It happens all the time with every guy. They see me blind.. sorry! I can't be with you...

I looked down on my knees, embarrassed. Just go Blaine. Don't continue the sentence... I've heard too many excuses...

"...Cool!" He said with a hint of that chuckle and my heard melted. "I guess, I'll be buying us a dinner date now! If Rachel doesn't mind leaving! maybe me and Kurt could have some time together!"

"Oh sorry! My watch had the wrong time! and enjoy... God I love you! Bring him home at 10 on the dot, Blaine!" Rachel said and strolled off, giggling. "THAT'S 'PM' BLAINE! PM!" she added, shouting.

and Blaine shouted back. "YES MUM!"

I laughed under my cold breathe and felt Blaine's hand slip on mine. He held it gently and I felt him stand up.

"So Italian?" He suggested giving me a lift, and I stood up grabbing my bag.

"That'll be lovely."

And we went off. _with our hands still tangled together._

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><p><strong><em>AN: _**Still confusing. Yeah let me summarise that for you: Kurt was set up on a blind date, and as Rachel went to look for the guy, he made friends with Blaine Anderson. A nice young man. However, when Rachel came back, Kurt and Blaine found out that they we're the 'Date' Rachel was setting up with. So They went off to an Italian Restaurant THE END!

The summary was better than the story. eheehehe...

**_Review appreciated._**


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